Why I hate Bokura ga Ita

First, I like to apologize to the mangaka for saying such thing. I know she put a lot of effort drawing it and making such story line. To be fair, I read all 64 chapters of it. I never gave up. Just that…it didn’t work for me. 

Some people told me that it gets better. Perhaps they were talking about the college and post-grad arc but really. It doesn’t.

It talks about the same thing. I read this once in a review. That love is painful. And it does that quite literally. Only that it doesn’t escalate the way I imagine it will. The issue is the same all throughout (Yano can’t trust anyone. Yano can’t forgive himself. Yano thinks he has to punish himself.) It’s tiring. There’s no development. The manga just revealed the reasons why such a hateable character exists. And yes, at the end of the day, I still hate Yano.

I would have appreciated the angst if it was justifiable but (and yet again) it didn’t work.

Why? Let’s talk about Nana’s love for starters.

Go back to chapter 1…or was it 2 when she started to realize that she has feelings for the guy? When her heart went ‘thump thump’ with all the flowery feels and shadings. Why DID she fall in love with Yano? She told her classmates that she was different. She doesn’t feel attracted to him. He annoys her. But, somehow, at the rooftop, after their small talk and Yano’s smile, she suddenly feels something.

This is sad but she fell in love because of the simple fact that Yano smiled at her. And we all know that love is crazy so it could be possible for her to feel that ‘something’. But for the life of Peter, it is not just possible for her to hold on to that feelings for such a long time with such ridiculous takeoff point IYKWIM. Even after knowing about what Yano did to his ex-girlfriend’s sister. Even after the rest of his crap.

I personally think that Yano is crap. Why does everybody love him? It’s not just logical for someone to be charismatic while maintaining such arrogance. I would have understood the attraction if he was like Kazehaya of Kimi ni Todoke. But he just isn’t! He isn’t that handsome either. Takeuchi is kind and handsome but, for some odd reasons, he just keeps losing to Yano.

I even hate the fact that Yano scores high in exams even if he sleeps in class. What is he? God or something?

So when I realized that Nana is not moving forward, I started to hate her too. Even Yamamoto turned out to be more developed a character than her! At least Yamamoto had the shitty attempt to change herself with cosmetics. And I have to applaud her for being able to let Yano go and realize her stupidity by the end of 15th volume.

I know we can’t let go of love so easily but I just don’t get where Nana’s persistence is coming from. Hers is similar to shallow love built on physical attraction. I would have understood if he treated her with care while they were together but he just keeps on giving her bad memories while trying to be oh-so-mysterious with his past love. He’s selfish and his kind gestures are not something the guy next door couldn’t offer. What IS with Yano? I just don’t get it. He’s so immersed with himself. I would neither think of depending on a guy like him nor would I ever think of wasting my energy saving him from the deep shit he created for himself.

I literally wanted to cry out of frustration.

I held on to this manga because the ratings were so promising. They said it was realistic. I still read it until the end even if I tried the anime and couldn’t even finish halfway the series. We’re done with my regrets but really? Just because love hurts yadda yadda?

Realistic?

Do you really think such illogical thing exists? Even the reason why on freaking earth a good guy such as Takeuchi would hold on to his feelings for his high school crush was not explained. Do you seriously think that an infatuation without stable foundation would last? Are you out of your mind? This alone cancels out everything that happened in the college and post-grad arc.

Now I know that my previous entry says that the more human you are, the more illogical you become. You break the rules. It doesn’t matter so long as you keep your love alive. BUT this is on the premise that you are fighting for something. Anything. In Nana and Takeuchi’s case, I found none. I would have understood Yamamoto. I would even have understood Sengenji, but not these two.

Nana specially. Since she came out to me as a character with principles and convictions. She appeared to me as someone who uses her brain instead of eating it. Her view on pre-marital sex (on the first half of the manga)…the way she claimed that she wouldn’t be lured into Yano’s similarly inexplicable charisma.

ugh. Just no.

This manga is not just for me. And I hope not for you as well.

/signing off

PS: I never felt happy when I read this. Not even one second. Not even when Yano thought he loved Nana. Just as Nana was distrustful of him, so was I. And I sincerely hoped she remained that way.

Too bad she was stupid.

Oh well, that’s love.

PPS: A little warning though, if you’re still planning to read this manga after all that…if you’re looking for a legit shoujo, maybe this isn’t for you. I think it’s too heavy even if the earlier parts took place in a high school setup.

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14 thoughts on “Why I hate Bokura ga Ita

  1. renxkyoko

    i totally agree with everything you wrote here. It’s so illogical and unrealistic. There are only 5 main male characters that I hate in shoujo world. yano is one of them.

    Cheers !

    Reply
      1. renxkyoko

        Well, maybe there are more than 5… Yano, Kou, Naoki, the guy from Kirai, and there’s that guy from that manga , LOL…. these are the ones I remember at the moment…. and these are ending guys, too, unfortunately. Amd i hate main characters who have cheated, like that guy from Cappuccino… good thing the ,main girl walked away from the relationship, so I didn’t count him.

      2. beeyeah Post author

        I guess shoujo really has that factor. The guy usually is an asshole to keep the spice up haha

        And me too! I guess that’s why I didn’t hate Kyouya as much. He was a one-woman man.

  2. renxkyoko

    Kyouya ? i guess. But take note, Kyouya already has had sex with so many girls. If I were Erika, the thought of Kyouya having sex , making love with other girls would make me sick. Are you updated on the manga ?

    Reply
    1. beeyeah Post author

      ahhhh I see. But I guess it’s forgivable for me because it was before his relationship with Erika. And when I saw the onsen chapter, where Kyouya was too cautious about being physical with Erika, I saw how special he treated the moment. He was nervous and awkward as if it were his first time.

      Yup! I think I’m updated with the manga 🙂 I just read this a couple of days ago.

      Reply
  3. Haru

    I googled “why I hate Bokura ga Ita” and came here for you to say exactly what’s on my mind. Thank you. I watched the anime many many years ago and hated its guts, and then every time it pops up among the “most realistic” or “best romance” or “best shoujo”, I fume. I wish I was indifferent to it as I am with so many other mangas/animes. I just can’t get over the fact that people are taking this seriously. What kind of relationship goals is the mangaka putting in this, the fact that Nana completely submitted herself to that guy, who doesn’t even feel that he’s a bad guy, and she isn’t making him any much of a better person, their marriage will be hell, and I bet she’ll still blame herself and he’ll still abuse her.

    The so called “realism” bit is what’s annoying the most. People can get hung up on relationships and especially first loves (though I totally agree they didn’t go beyond physical attraction), but guess what, life goes on, you grow up, and college really immerses you in it. However, if you are drawing an entire life revolving around a few immature moments in high school, and then selling it as realistic, and not just that, but as good and sweet and romantic, you are ridiculous.

    I mean it’s very simple, there is a difference between a mangaka who draws a realistic manga that is pointing out a problem in today’s youth, however subtly she does it, and someone who is actually selling these things as though they are great. And I can give easy examples for that, try NANA. A manga that unfortunately shares the same name as the heroine in this story, but that’s thankfully where the similarities end. NANA is a manga that is pointing out the problems of unhealthy relationships, the main couple Nana and Ren are stuck in this relationship because they both have psychological problems, not once can you hate them, because they are acting in a very realistic way, and you actually pity them, and want them to figure out their problems together. Another couple Hachi and Takumi, are again stuck in an abusive marriage, yet they both feel there is something wrong, and many years down the road (in a flash-forward), we see that Hachi finally becomes mature enough and empowered. NANA is a complex exploration of human weakness and maturity, and you might hate the decisions that some of its characters do sometimes but you are given everything to understand exactly where it came from, and therefore forgive them for it.

    NANA also had a female character that was obsessed with a guy all her life, and she was the most fickle, pathetic creature, who knew exactly how ridiculous she was acting but again was too weak to change her sentiments, only after years and a tragedy befalls her does she start to mature.

    Another example? Honey and Clover…another realistic portrayal of being hung over a guy but knowing exactly how wrong you are acting and finally, after many years of pain, letting go.

    This is realism done right, and contrasting them against Bokura ga Ita, makes Bokura ga Ita glaringly ridiculous and stupid.

    I’m sorry I ranted.

    Reply
    1. beeyeah Post author

      No worries, darling. Your rants are welcome on my blog =))

      We all have that one manga we hate from the bottom of our hearts, don’t we? We’re on same page. I really hate it when abusive relationships (whether it be physical or emotional) are framed in romantic light. Other people say that I don’t understand because I haven’t been on their shoes but while I do believe that things like these may happen in real life, it still doesn’t make it right. Love /may/ be illogical but it shouldn’t always be.

      Haven’t read both mangas mentioned above though. Which do you recommend I read first?

      Reply
      1. Haru

        Both are great but quite different mangas about relationships, and also about many other things like knowing yourself, or following your dream. In terms of which to start with first, it depends on the mood I guess, haha. But I’d say Honey and Clover, it is more light-hearted.
        Have a good day 🙂

  4. Yakano

    Thanks for saying everything i hated about this anime. I agree that Kimi Ni Todoke is totally better than this. When keep seeing Yano, I was like, “even Kazehaya is better than you. You’re not handsome like him, why are you popular?” (Trust me i hate both the mc alot) But one thing kept on bugging me. Please. Please draw both of the eyes not just one eye. It is very VERY irritating. I dont feel like watching the whole thing now, I’m just at ep 11 and skipped the whole episode. I really wanted to drop this anime anyway.

    Reply
  5. MadMarx

    THANK YOU. I completely agree with everything you said. I hate this manga so much everytime I see it being branded as the epitome of love I hurl. For a time I was thinking I was the only one who got annoyed with it. The characters are all very depressed and they’re just running around making one depressing decision after another. They’re also all very linear. Except Yuri Yamamoto. She was one crazy b*tch. Imagine, all this time she knew that her sister wasnt cheating on Yano, but she only reveals the truth to him YEARS LATER. jeezuz.

    Reply
    1. BLouise Post author

      I agree. What’s really problematic is that teenagers believe that a ‘painful’ kind of love filled with distrust is romantic. That’s just crazy. I hope better shoujos are written so that we don’t have this in the top ranks. /sigh

      Reply

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