Why women are still terrified

So I did say that this blog is merely a review dump. No personal shit and all that. But I really don’t know where else to put this seeing that most of my SNS is plagued by my officemates and they may take this the wrong way. Also, this sounded coherent in my head but you know me so I apologize for rambling. Here goes.

Yesterday, I was walking to our office. It was just 5-10 minutes away so I go there by foot. It was broad daylight and was in a business district so you could say that I expected a relatively safe travel. That is, not until someone walked behind me and whispered, “Miss, can I get your name?”

To someone who’d been harassed more than once while riding a jeepney and to someone who’d continuously been catcalled at night, the thought that a stranger was following me to get my name was terrifying. My heart raced and I ducked my head down, tried to walk faster (ran) and internally screamed, “Why is this happening? I’m now living in a busy street. Why even in the morning?”

“Miss, I’m serious. Can I get your name?” He repeated and caught up. I felt two presence behind me.

Those two men were my officemates. When I realized who they were, I was relieved and royally pissed at the same time.  Enlighten me, for what purpose do men do that? Knowing it freaks us out, why? Knowing I won’t give them my name, why?

“I didn’t realize you were such a snob,” he said while I tried to laugh off the joke that left a bad taste. I tried to see the humor in the fact that he tagged me a snob when I was simply terrified. I tried to mollify myself thinking that perhaps I was overreacting. It was nine in the morning and there would be witnesses just in case something bad happened to me. I tried to tell myself that perhaps it was wrong that my dress was too short. Perhaps it gave him the idea to take a stalker role. My mom did tell me my dress was too short later that evening.

To my officemate who I started hating since yesterday, people like you are the reason why women still feel unsafe. People like you are the reason why we still blame ourselves that we get harassed. People like you are the reason why I can’t trust men.

I hope you don’t do this again because I might never talk to you even if you did me favors and even if you’re my boss’ friend.

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